Why eloping is a great idea

Are you wondering if eloping is a good idea? I recently ran away to a small island in the South Pacific to marry my love in the unknown country of Niue.

Before getting married I have never been a girl to see weddings as a big deal, the marriage that comes after has always been more important to me. I hear of people flying to different continents over a weekend to attend a friends wedding and I just cannot understand the frenzy surrounding weddings, or the amount of money that is poured into them. If you have always had your heart set on a huge wedding, I’m not here to persuade you out of it, we all hold value for different things. However, if you’re on the fence about eloping, read my reasons as to why it’s a great idea.

Weddings are stressful to plan

The average wedding takes about a year to plan. Brides-to-be, eat, sleep, breath and Pinterest every last detail. Hobbies and normal social lives go out the window and evenings are spent writing wedding invites and making favours that nobody will take home. While all the focus is placed on the wedding, very little focus is put on the marriage.

My elopement took 3 weeks to plan, it was stressful trying to pull off what we did in such a short space of time. After about 2 weeks of planning we talked about pulling the plug and changing the date to later in the year. We realised we were already getting fed up of wedding planning, we just wanted the marriage and to get back to our normal lives, but we started to become blasé about the wedding. If you have lots of time on your hands and love arranging events, then maybe wedding planning is for you. Otherwise to save your sanity, eloping might just be the right thing.

Memories, no matter how sweet, always end up in your long term memory

Your wedding day, no matter how amazing will end up in your long term memory. My wedding day was awesome, I remember loving it and being so happy, but the memories fade so quickly. Upon returning home from our wedding trip and getting back to the daily routine, we tried so hard to cling onto the memories, but they faded as quickly as the memory of any special day we’ve had before. The memory now floats around with my long term brain cells along with memory of the day we first saw Mount Everest and also that awesome day we visited the pyramids. It’s just one day out of your life, it will go in a blur and the memories will fade. I was happy we didn’t blow a massive chunk of savings on one day, because the clear memories did not last long, but we are in for a lifetime of making new ones.

You don’t need to make the day perfect, it will be anyway

People put a lot of effort into making their wedding day perfect, but I don’t think it’s necessary. We were both giddy on the day of the wedding. Honestly, I could have eaten a burger at a beach shack afterwards and it still would have been amazing, this is coming from a girl that won’t leave the house without mascara or lipstick. The feeling that you get from saying your vows and making a commitment to the person that you love needs no ‘pimping’. While I was planning my wedding, I realised I was stressing too much about making the day perfect. I was reminded of the quote “don’t wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect moment”. You really don’t need to plan a perfect day, just enjoy the day for what it is, because wedding days are already special.

You can have a better venue for a smaller price tag

I got married at a beautiful cliff top resort overlooking the South Pacific Ocean. This never would have been possible if we had invited guests, because guests equates to hungry mouths to feed. The resort was beautiful and offered us an amazing elopement package, which included a wedding planner who took care of everything for us. We felt so lucky to get married where we did, but it never would have happened if we had invited guests.

You’re not a fan of being the centre of attention

I’m an introvert and I hate attention and big gatherings. Eloping is perfect if you don’t like being the centre of attention. To me it seems weird and uncomfortable to have 100 people watching you say your wedding vows. Big weddings stem back to yesteryear when villagers needed to witness marriages, because if nobody saw it, it didn’t happen. Now we have social media to spread to the word, so it’s perfectly acceptable to get married without an audience.

The origin of wedding traditions are icky

As people tend to live less traditional lives, we end up picking and choosing the traditions that we like best. Some wedding traditions make me feel so uncomfortable that eloping was the best way to avoid them. The tradition of having a best man dates back to when women were kidnapped to be married. The best man helped with the kidnapping, so that the bride would be married without the families consent.

The father giving the bride away dates back to when daughters were considered property until married and were ‘given away’ in exchange for a dowry. People hold different sentiment to these traditions today, but they are not something I wanted to be included in my wedding day. I also didn’t want to explain to people why I was doing away with them, so we eloped and my husband met me halfway down the isle and nobody was kidnapped in the process.

It’s so much cheaper

I’m proud to say that my wedding day was FREE. Yes that’s right, free! We booked a deluxe room at the Matavi Pacific Resort in Niue for 7 nights and got the entire elopement package for free. It included, flowers, the marriage paperwork, the marriage celebrant, a 3 course wedding day meal (including fresh lobster and champagne), a wedding planner/coordinator and heaps of little added extras to make the day special. We were treated like royalty and could not have wished for anything more. We spent some money from our savings for the wedding-moon trip, but we didn’t bust our budget for a one day event. Not a single cell in my body wishes that I had done anything different. I only wish I could do it again.

It’s also possible to go the DIY route to save money, but to me that seems so stressful having to work on your wedding day, when you should be enjoying it and drinking champagne while you get ready.

Many people plan weddings that are way beyond their means. If you have a ton of savings or family that are able to pay for your wedding, then you might not miss that money. In any other case, the money might be better spent on a deposit for a house, or a year traveling or 6 months extra maternity leave when your first child comes along.

It’s romantic

It’s an amazing adventure heading off to get married with just the two of you. Nobody else to please, no family feuds to quell, no drunk uncles, no misbehaving bridesmaids. Just two people wanting to say “I do” and enjoy each other’s company. Wedding parties are all about making other people feel good and making sure your guests are happy. Eloping is centred around the couple having a good time and enjoying a special day between the two of you.

 

You’re already on honeymoon

There is nothing better than waking up the day after you get married knowing that you don’t have to do anything except relax for the next few days. It was so special retracing my wedding day steps every morning on the way to breakfast. An anniversary trip back to Niue is a must for us.

My biggest tip for eloping is to plan as long a trip as possible. Our only regret was that we didn’t stay longer. We know of other couples that eloped over a weekend and also wished that they had taken longer to enjoy the experience.

And Finally – Your marriage lasting is not guaranteed

A few days after our first wedding anniversary (which was spent in Bali). My now ex-husband left me in Bali, went to the airport, got on a flight and Ghosted me. This was in February 2020 when the world was shutting down. I was shocked and blindsided and left with no support to fend for myself at the start of the pandemic. He finally returned home after about 1 month, but no longer wanted to be married. Now that I am navigating life as financially single women I am so happy that my savings are still intact. I absolutely think eloping is a great idea!

Whatever way you decide to get married, just make the decision to enjoy the day and you won’t regret whatever you choose to do.